I'm fat.

Fatty

Contributor
CRank: 5Score: 25280

It's been my very favorite Zelda game ever since the first time I played it, which was about 4 triple-bypasses ago. I fired it up last year and played it all the way through again. It still holds up as a great game.

4133d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

If Bayonetta was a man, it'd get an even lower score than me at a beauty pagent because the developers "should have used a powerful woman character instead of perpetuating the patriarchy".

Polygon: Winners of the best "You Can't Win Theater" productions 3 years in a row.

4135d ago 3 agree0 disagreeView comment

Very well said; I'd give you more bubbles than I have in my Double Big Gulp cup of Pepsi if I could.

4135d ago 0 agree0 disagreeView comment

In the newest production of Polygon's famous "You Can't Win Theater", Polygon wants more female characters in games, but not if they're attractive/sexy.

Meanwhile, they'll punish developers who may have a Metacritic score-based bonus payment because the character model wasn't what they wanted.

Polygon is an absolute joke, and shows why gamers are disgusted with so much of gaming journalism.

4135d ago 2 agree0 disagreeView comment

I have a Cheeto lodged in my frontal lobe so I might be misinterpreting your comment. Could you clarify what you meant? I'm reading it as if I don't buy it (and all of us gamers follow suit), then they'll stop making the entire series? I just want to make sure we're on the same page of the takeout menu.

4136d ago 2 agree0 disagreeView comment

As always, the best way to send a message is to speak with your wallet. If you disapprove of a developer or publisher's choices, then don't buy the game.

We don't have to buy things we don't feel like supporting... unlike those size XXXXL sweatpants my District Court says I have to wear if I want to ride outside rather than my beautiful floral-print muumuu.

4136d ago 4 agree0 disagreeView comment

This article has such a ridiculous premise and poorly argued, I had 4 aneurysms, two heart attacks, and finally lost my other foot to diabetes. I am less of a person from having read this piece of pseudo-intellectual garbage.

4145d ago 9 agree0 disagreeView comment

And a fried turkey!

4146d ago 9 agree0 disagreeView comment

Needs more stuff to be a Fatty-Class Bundle: maybe an extra controller and the camera, plus a year of Plus. Good selection of games, though. I enjoyed Killzone more than a chocolate shake with whipped cream and a cherry. I still need to play Second Son, which I've heard is darn good.

4146d ago 7 agree0 disagreeView comment

Good point, delicious space beast.

EDIT: I swear I have the money somewhere buried in my folds, along with some emergency mac-n-cheese. Just give my excavation team more time!

4152d ago 0 agree3 disagreeView comment

Fatty only gets ripped off when Golden Corral kicks me out after 12 hours of prime rib and chocolate fountain. There hasn't been a more flagrant case of false advertising since the movie "The Neverending Story".

As far as games go, other than collectors' editions that I collect like plaque in my arteries, I find myself waiting for GOTY editions on a lot of major titles. I have a huge backlog and I know eventually all of the extras will get bundled into a ne...

4152d ago 0 agree3 disagreeView comment

Amazon sells games AND food. Count this rascal-riding hunk'a love in.

4152d ago 0 agree0 disagreeView comment

He's good at pulling plants because Toadette doesn't put out.

4155d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

Now how long until Nintendo shuts it down... and then faces fan disdain and allows it to continue again?

4155d ago 1 agree1 disagreeView comment

Fatty still has his copy (even wipe the Crisco off my hands before I touch it), but I'd buy it again in a strained heartbeat when my pacemaker activates.

4155d ago 1 agree3 disagreeView comment

I'm about as worried about this as I am about the fate of the toe I lost to diabetes a couple of years ago. It's going to be better than when I got that $100 all-you-can eat pass to the Olive Garden.

4159d ago 0 agree0 disagreeView comment

My wife called me "pleasantly plump" just before her bones mysteriously all shattered when I rolled over in bed. No clue how that could have happened. RIP in peace my chunky love.

4160d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

I'll take 4 please! Gotta have energy to make it to dialysis today.

4161d ago 2 agree0 disagreeView comment

Rolly & sweaty as always, Gravity_DoGG. Blood pressure's through the roof and cholesterol is clogging the arteries, but my rascal's all gassed up and ready to roll.

4161d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

Such insight! Your comment is surely the best of the year and incredibly productive to conversation. You, your family, your friends, and indeed the Internet as a whole should be proud of such incredible thought.

4162d ago 6 agree2 disagreeView comment