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You are spot on.

where are the games?

Well in fairness Microsoft does let you play a lot of AAs.

Its just unfortunate those are the batteries used to power the controller.

6038d ago 11 agree0 disagreeView comment

KFC offers a free xbox 360 with a kids medium bucket meal.

6038d ago 16 agree1 disagreeView comment

15 add 45 is the abysmal failure rate of the xbox 360 in the UK.

15 is the average age and IQ of an xbotter.

15 is the number of glorious years Sony have given the gaming industry.

Lord Kemp raises a glass (large cognac) to your achievements.

6038d ago 11 agree1 disagreeView comment

What MetalGearRising meant to say is that he plays AAs on his xbox 360.

However these are used to power his controller.

6038d ago 11 agree0 disagreeView comment

How to buy a games console this Christmas.

Its easy --- Just ask the salesperson to give you the one that 'Only does everything.'

Disclaimer - If he is mentally challenged and gives you an Xbox 360, hit him in the face with a large custard pie-Boom!

6038d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

Breaking News.

Lord Kemp has just returned from parliament (UK).

New legislation ACT 34534 LAW 45/56.

Any person who buys and knowingly supports defective consoles (60%) shall be sectioned under the mental health Act 1983.

6038d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

Stevo you are a t!t.

I see you have your age on your cake.

Or is it your I.Q.

6038d ago 3 agree0 disagreeView comment

So what's a PS3 lets see shall we.

A PS3 is currently the most advanced and powerful games console utilising the cell processor and blu ray technology.

The competitions console utilises an ancient form of dvd9 technology ( this has been around since the first ice age), effectively tying one hand behind the back of developers and gimping our beloved franchises ( see GTA4 / RESI 5 )

A PS3 gives you a free web browser ( with this you can make your arms loo...

6039d ago 5 agree0 disagreeView comment

Lord Kemp is hoping to introduce a new act of parliament.

Stupidity Law no--- 343665 Act 45

This Law states that anyone who knowingly buys and supports faulty merchandise shall be sectioned under the mental health act 1972.

Any xbotter stealing toffees or doughnuts from a school tuck shop shall be hanged -- this one is still awaiting approval. Act 3574.

6039d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

Lord Kemp has an overwhelming desire to open his window and throw a custard pie in the face of a passing xbotter.

6039d ago 3 agree0 disagreeView comment

Many years ago Lord Kemp travelled down the waters of the Nile to find the ancient relic of infinite wisdom.

After a bleak long trek through the desert one of my servants a young portly kid by the name Greenturd spotted a pyramid in the distance.

Upon closer inspection we found the entrance to an ancient tomb.

Being mindful of traps, Howard Carter showed us the way.

By the curse of the Tutankhamuns i found it. An ancient stone tablet.
...

6039d ago 5 agree1 disagreeView comment

You have just described Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft all in the right order.

6039d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

Yes i think its about time we all ------ O sod it i can't help myself.

If an xbotter asked me how to fly a kite.

I'd tell him to run off a cliff.

6040d ago 3 agree0 disagreeView comment

Many moons ago Lord Kemp travelled far and wide across oceans and deserts.

I arrived in Nazareth where in a little town of Bethlehem i happened upon 3 wise men.

What they said i have remembered to this day.

The first man said dont buy faulty consoles, the second said dont pay to play online when it is free on the competitions console and the third said ---- a wise man will always go blu, because it only does everything.

(technically it doesn...

6040d ago 7 agree0 disagreeView comment

This game is immense.

Bear in mind though its as hard as an xbots pecker seeing Billy Gates bent over with his trousers at half mast.

6040d ago 3 agree0 disagreeView comment

Good god almighty it is you!!!!

6040d ago 3 agree0 disagreeView comment

Many years ago on one of lord Kemps treks through the ancient Peruvian rain forest i happened upon an ancient ruined Aztec temple.

Inside i met a wise old sage who taught me his infinite wisdom which has been passed down through generations of tribes men. I listened closely and he said ---

' A wise man does not buy faulty goods and pay to play online when it is free on the competitions console.'

With that he vanished into the woods and i never saw him a...

6040d ago 9 agree0 disagreeView comment

I went to buy some camouflage trousers to wear and play this the other day but i couldn't find any.

6040d ago 1 agree0 disagreeView comment

Today's tennis pros are so young they give autographs on Etcho-Sketches.

6040d ago 1 agree1 disagreeView comment
6040d ago