Dear Microsoft, thanks for trying to burn my house down.

The following is an actual letter I sent to Microsoft some years back concerning the overall safety of one of their products, and the subsequent result of the situation. Enjoy.

*****

To Whom It May Concern,

This letter is to inform you that I have made the decision to purchase a Playstation 3 video game console. More importantly, it should be noted that your company drove me to do so, and let me explain why.

First of all, though it may seem irrelevant at this point, I should probably explain my video gaming history as a whole. I have never been a "casual" gaming enthusiast. For as long as I can remember, I have always had at least one video game console at a time, and this neglects the idea of any handheld systems I ever had in my possession. It began, like many, with the Nintendo Entertainment System in the late 80s. A few years after, I received a Super Nintendo Entertainment System, and my life was forever changed. Around the same time, I received a Sega Genesis and a Sega CD, yet I played my Super Nintendo daily, as I was never impressed with anything that my Sega products provided. My SNES was my favorite toy for so many years, until it became obsolete and the Nintendo 64 was released.

A few years after the Nintendo 64 was released, I had finally saved up enough money from my part-time job and purchased one with my own money. I played the N64 daily, but it never held my heart like my SNES had. Shortly after, the Sony Playstation was released, and yet again I bought myself a new system. It was at this point my bonds with Nintendo were broken, and I discovered a new love.

This new system provided games that were geared more towards my demographic at the time, and I think that had a lot to do with my broken ties with Nintendo as a whole. Not to mention all of my friends had Playstations, so bringing games back and forth to each other's houses was easy to do. We would trade games for a week or so at a time, and would master them all before returning them. It was the end all system. So we thought.

Sony introduced the Playstation 2 a few years later, and the response, as I'm sure you know, was outrageous. Third-party games flooded the market, and a Playstation 2 owner had the world at their fingertips. I probably owned close to 40+ games throughout the time I owned my PS2, and I never regretted playing the next. I was a slave to Sony, and I knew it. And I didn't care.

I'm told you, Microsoft, released a console around this time, too. The XBOX, the "giant black brick with a stupid name," was unnecessary to me or my friends. We had no need for it. We had a PS2. EVERYONE had a PS2. Why do I think you knew that already?

You may be beginning to wonder how your company drove me away. Let me explain..

I held onto my PS2 for many years, until the current generation of consoles was introduced. I watched the battle between you and Sony and Nintendo wage on for years before I finally settled on which next-gen console to buy. Nintendo's Wii was out of the question.. If I had wanted to sit around playing a majority of children's games, I would have picked up one of my niece's educational V-Tech toys. It was down to Microsoft v. Sony, XBOX360 v. PS3.

Ironically, I separated myself from the legacy Sony had created and bought an XBOX360.

I couldn't tell you why I bought it at the time. Maybe it was the store clerk who nudged me in that direction. Maybe it was a couple of the 360-exclusive games that caught my attention. Either way, I forked out my hard-earned cash and bought it.

And for a while, I was happy. There were many things that I was impressed with, and so over time, I was convinced that I had made the right decision. The fact that your games were pretty abysmal as far as content was concerned, and the notion that I was forced to pump out countless dollars to play online with my friends was kind of upsetting, and I eventually got to the point where I couldn't afford to play online at all, but I was sure I had made the right decision. Soon, however, things began to change.

About 10 months after owning my 360, I began to question my decision. One night I was playing with my friends, and the game began to make strange sounds and then froze. We reset the 360, and upon reboot, a single blinking red light appeared at the bottom of the console, followed by a strange error message on the screen. We let the 360 sit for a bit, and turned it back on an hour or so later, only to find things were back to normal, and we resumed playing. No more than 3 days later, I received the "Red Ring of Death," a phrase I'm sure your company is all too familiar with.

As I had only a month left on my warranty, I called customer service immediately, and after a 25 min wait (which I'm told is rather short for your standards) I was placed on the phone with "Tony", a dry, emotionless gentleman that could barely speak English. Tony, who was clearly reading from a cue card, proceeded to ask me questions I had already provided answers before. Eventually he "determined" that there was indeed a problem, and filed a repair order. Two days later, I sent off my console with utmost anxiety, knowing that for a while, we would all be without our beloved video gaming entertainment. Upon moving the 360, I noticed a distinct, charred outline in my entertainment center where the console had been standing. I don't recall my SNES ever burning through my hardwood furniture. You read that correctly: YOUR CONSOLE TRIED TO SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE.

I eagerly waited for the 360s return, and days turned into weeks. A MONTH PASSED, and I finally received my 360, and as I was quite eager to play it, I plugged it in right away. No more than 30 minutes later, a familiar blinking red light appeared, followed by an equally familiar error message. The 360 was toast. Again. 30 MINUTES LATER. Did you even fix anything? You have no idea, do you?

I immediately packed up all of my 360 equipment, games, and accessories, and sold them all the next day. Cheap.

This was about 8 months ago, and I haven't looked back since. There are too many upcoming titles that I have a strong desire to play, but based on my experiences, it certainly won't be on any Microsoft products. So, as it stands, I will GLADLY hand over my hard-earned money to your rival counterpart.

Thanks for all you've done for me, Microsoft. You can keep your Halos and your Gears of Wars, and I'll continue to make sure my house remains intact.

Warmest regards,

AR

*****

I never received a response.