Hello Ladies and Gentleman We interrupt you're regularly scheduled blog posting to bring you this important public service announcement:
PANIC
A wide spread plague has hit the gaming world and the repercussions of this epidemic could mean the end for video gaming.
The "Half-assed" virus, or HA for short, is a 6 stage virus that attacks the hearts of gamers with the possibility of causing lethal reactions for the infected victims. This HA virus is manufactured by a group calling themselves "The Developers". The following are the stages of the HA epidemic.
Stage 1: The Hype
"The Developers" design the virus to attack both the heart and the head during this stage. The HA virus attacks the head and releases images of awesome fights, cool musics, death diffing acrobatics, and senses of team work in these clearly fabricated "works" they call "Trailers". These "Trailers" could be released several different times and once they are released upon the victims it can spread like wildfire. The "Trailers" release these images in the victims mind create desires in the heart of the victim. Sometimes the infection can become so bad that the victim turns to criminal action.
http://www.baltimoresun.com...
Stage 2: The Game
This is probably one of the hardest hitting stages of the HA virus attack. After the "Trailers" create the wants and desires in the hearts of the victims, which only grows over time, "The Developers" release a catalyst to the HA virus known as "The Game". When a victim gets a hold of "The Game" one of two things can happen. Either the victim has a positive reaction to "The Game", a rarity only getting rarer, or they have a negative reaction to "The Game". "The Developers" purposely release "The Game" in a broken condition where it will intentionally have the hardest time creating positive reactions with the victim. This can cause extreme anger and sadness in the heart of the victims, leading to the potential of suicide.
http://www.joystiq.com/2008...
Stage 3: The patch
After "The Developer" intentionally releases "The Game" in a broken state and create depression and aggression in the hearts of the victims they release stage 3 of the HA virus known as "The Patch". "The Patch" is a inhibitor designed to 'fix' the problems that plague "The Game". Often times "The Patch" is, again, intentionally released to not fix all of the problems with the "The Game". They are only released to bring hope back into the hearts of the victim. The victim starts to regain hope that they can survive the HA virus.
Stage 4: The Fall
After "The Patch" is released to fix the problems with "The Game" and the victims start to regain hope that can survive the HA virus they attempt to reinitialize "The Game". Most of the time the victim will have a negative reaction to "The Game" again and step 3 and 4 will repeat over again. Sometimes "The Patch" will fix "The Game" completely and the victim will survive the HA virus. However for the most part "The Patch" will not fix "The Game" and the victim will develop severe anger and often time intolerable aggression.
Stage 5: Recovery
After The Fall, the victim will go into recovery mode. During this time either the victim is able to completely remove the HA virus by removing "The Game", or they develop an immunity to the HA virus.
Stage 6: Repeat
"The Developers", seeing how well their HA virus worked the first time they begin developing a newer and updated HA virus that the victims of their first HA virus have not developed an immunity towards. The HA virus process repeats itself.
Conclusion:
Ok. I know I over dramatized this quite a bit, but it is a serious problem in gaming today. Developers only understand one thing. Money. Let's start telling the Developers we're sick of them trying to sell us their half assed games. Vote with your wallets.
//SIGNED//
LEX-1020
A HA virus victim.
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What can I say. You speak the TRUTH.
I dunno any gamers out there, that enjoy unnecessary aggrevation.
Very nice read, made me lol, or should I say "HA". (Ok bad pun time over...)
I agree completely though, it happens way too often, sometimes I don't even know who to blame, the devs for making the broken game and releasing it, the big publishers behind them (if there is one) which is forcing them to stick to their initial release date just because they don't want to have to delay one of their games, or the people that buy these games knowing it's going to happen or knowing that the same thing has happened with everyone else and still getting it themselves. Unfortunately it has become a fairly common phenomenon lately, I'd love to say like you for us all to stand up and say we're having none of it, but most of the time especially with a few certain FPSs this tends to happen to, while one person may abstain from buying and do their part for the greater good, another couple of thousand will go ahead and just buy it and pretty much nullify our efforts. I still do it myself now, I bitch and moan everywhere possible about companies doing this and (depending on what game it is of course, but lets be honest it is with FPSs it's happening mostly) stay away from them, but most of the time these efforts are in vain.
Step by step this is definitely Black Ops
When you say "the game" do you mean the game or "the game"?
btw I lost...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...