Grinds My Gears: Annoying Casual Gamers

So what's up with these casual gamers out there who seem to be the retards of the nation nowadays?  They like to play the usual, Madden, Skate/tony hawk, Call Of Duty 4, Halo 3, and now...SINGSTAR!  And due to their great intellect and how much they all know about games, they are the first to tell you that the game you are playing is stupid, dumb, childish, gay, etc.

Believe it or not, no matter how old you are, things that appear childish are still rather good in the gamer world, for example, Pokemon. No matter how much we hate the tv series or the movies, the games(not including the spinoffs) are seriously good.

I don't know how many times I've been called a nerd or something like that from these kids because I was playing Kingdom Hearts 2 or any Final Fantasy game.  They even called me out while I was playing Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2.

But no matter what, you must not bash anything on the Wii that does not involve any sort of thought to play, as long as you can swing the controller and hit a ball or anything gimmicky(no offense to any real gamer who likes this stuff) like that, it is great fun and should be played at all parties especially while drunk/high/passed out. And you better not play anything good on that system either, Smash Bros. or Zelda are big no-no's to our casual friends.

I like how they feel as though they are so great as to let us let them grace our system so that they can play along with us only to say "Call of Duty's graphics are way better than this" or "WTF!?!? Those guns aren't even realistic!"

These people base everything on graphics, how "realistic" something is, and if it has guns or not. The realistic ones are the worst, where these are the same people that played Halo 3 nonstop when it first came out, it is now collecting dust as these people are still playing Call of Duty 4, Madden, Guitar Hero 3, and Rock Band...all of which are the greatest things to happen to any console ever!!!

I also hate how their choice on what games are good a which aren't are the final answer and nothing can change that, much like the well known fanboy, but worse.  You see, the fanboy chooses not to like something because it does not belong on their system, or because it is not their flavor of greatness, but they know deep down that Halo 3 and Gears of War are pretty good games and belong among the top games of this current generation, and they know that Resistance: Fall of Man and Uncharted: Drakes Fortune have set the bar for future Playstation 3 games to come.

Casual gamers on the other hand, will look at a game and refuse to look at the high metacritic rating, refuse to watch you play or play it themselves, all because they have decided on how good it is based on the games they play already. I'm sorry Final Fantasy makes you wait a bit to attack, and has no guns and isn't first person and doesn't allow you to attack by swinging your controller casual gamer, let me make this up to you by playing Wii bowling with you, I'll even let you win.

Which brings me to my next point. Don't you hate it when this casual gamer keeps talking about how many points he gets in that one song on Guitar Hero? Or how many points per game they average with one player in Madden? Don't you dare call them out and even worse, DO NOT BEAT THEM! Because if you do manage to beat them 75-3 in Madden, they just had a bad  game, or the good old "YOU CHEATED!". But of course, if neither of those answers fit the situation, they are casual gamers, and will have no choice but to use the "You are such a nerd, you play this way too much, it's the only reason why I can't beat you, GET A LIFE NERD!" excuse.

But believe it or not, some casual gamers can appear to be gamer nerds, but don't let them fool you.  They all live on one game, or one series of games, be it a sports title, fighting game, FPS, racing,Guitar Hero/Rock Band, even a particular puzzle game, they will be extremely good at this game, and may even be ranked online, but don't let that confuse you, bring over a different type of game they don't play as much and watch how they start to stutter and decide its better to get some fresh air and go play outside or get drunk or something, because they don't want to become a nerd or anything.

So the next time your friend calls you out on some game or tells you that you are a nerd for playing a great game, challenge them to something you are good at and beat them, soak up the insults, or even better, record them whining while they are losing and post it on youtube(I've done this and it works if anyone wants to see the video's I'll post a link).

If all else fails, tell them to STFU and call them a name they don't like, just get them out of your face. Make out with their significant other, change their keyboard language to Dvorak(great April fool's prank i pulled), whatever you do, don't let it get to you and don't let them walk around feeling like they are so much better than you due to their lack of gaming knowledge.

So that's that. Annoying Casual Gamers, you freakin GRIND MY GEARS!!!