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Trying to squeeze in some game time around work and family is tough

hennessey86

Contributor
CRank: 8Score: 106520

My next gen predictions

1: The next xbox will have kinect built in which will allow the console to navigate the house with the built in wheels it comes with, Microsoft will all so offer the option of "Kinect hoover" which will come packaged with a kids game called "Kinect chores". This will leave parents very happy until they realise you need an Xbox platinum subscription to access the wheels and hoover. Microsoft will also introduce a paid button service, only the d-pad and one analogue stick will be usable out of the box. A season pass will be available to unlock the rest of the buttons for 12 months. Due to Sony buying every publisher in the world Microsoft only have one game available at launch, Halo 5. Halo 6 will release two years later with Microsoft plugging the gap with endless DLC including Master Chief vs Master Chief extreme. Call of Duty will no longer be produced after EA threatened Activision with nuclear war after they took over Iran in 2013.

2: Sony starts off the next gen by purchasing every developer in the world and puts them all to work on GT6 so it will be ready in time for the 2016 Olympic games, where GT6 will be the main sponsor of the 100 metre Veyron sprint even though its still a standard car. In the mean time Sony concentrates on having 35 exclusive games a year, including two killzone games every 6 months and a God of War game every week free through Playstation plus minus plus negative. With Sony buying Epic games Gears of War is now a Playstation exclusive and now has Sly cooper as the main character, along with Ratchet and Clank. This causes outrage with the fans, causing Sony to include Marcus Fenix as a DLC character. Sony's capture of EA also signals the attempt at world domination by Sony when all PS4's become self aware on the 23rd of October 2014. People soon discover that the Blu-ray disc drives are actually weapons of mass destruction, capable of levelling whole cities by the press of the triangle button of death. Sony's control of the earth means Microsoft live in secrecy at the north pole and the next Xbox will only be available at underground markets where they also sell HD-DVD drives for people who's lives have been destroyed by the the Blu-ray.

3: Nintendo decide to pull out of the console race after Mario is caught in bed with Luigi losing his squeaky clean image, he claims he was set up by Sonic the hedgehog. Which becomes believable in 2015 when Sonic 306 comes out exclusively on Sony's console. The Wii U is banished to the moon and is never seen again, but the wii is still used to showcase how good the Move really is.

4: The biggest shock next gen is............................ ........................Nathan Drake is finally outed as a transsexual, previous name Lara Croft. He completely denies the allegations, but is seen trying on his old outfits during Celebrity game characters on ice. In which he loses a close final to kratos, who is the publics favourite after he slays three of the judges for giving hem less than perfect scores.

Just my attempt at humour, hope you like it :)

BiggCMan5206d ago

This shit had me in stitches!!! Very unexpected, very funny!! Great job!

AtomicGerbil5206d ago

I liked it, looks like the stealth disagreer didn't

AtomicGerbil5206d ago

Seriously some people need help, it's only a bit of fun.

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70°

Microsoft Gaming Revenue Drops 7% Year-on-Year, Content and Services Down 5%, Xbox Hardware Down 33%

Microsoft announced its financial results for Q3 of fiscal year 2026, including an update on its gaming Xbox business and more.

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simulationdaily.com
Jin_Sakai17d ago (Edited 17d ago )

Not looking good. Hopefully Asha Sharma is able to turn Phil’s disaster around.

dveio16d ago

To me it's still quite remarkable how they can cash-in 5.3bn in revenue in a single quarter, since their hardware is basically dead.

Jingsing16d ago

The stock mark is what makes Microsoft remarkable, They have convinced every institutional and retail investor to just keep piling money into them. Like many big tech giants they are just a big growing pyramid scheme. As long as people keep dropping money into ETF's that cover the market Microsoft will always be liquid. At the same time it is completely stifling innovation and competition. People need to start being more discreet in how they invest their money as it's killing the system.

Tanktopmaster9216d ago

Once they re-evaluate exclusive all will be fine….

S2Killinit16d ago

Riiiiight because people will just flock back to them for one or two games per year.

Jingsing16d ago

15+ years of bad performance is what they call irreparable in business. It is time for them to sell off the assets and get out of entertainment.

Tanktopmaster9216d ago

These declines are on the back of extra revenue received from releasing games like Forza horizon 5 on PlayStation. So I’m being sarcastic here when I said they should go back to exclusives. Killing off a revenue stream from Ps5 sales will only make things worse

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40°

Games Done Quick is coming to Europe for the first time with 3 days of Gamescom speedruns

The charity event will be streamed live from Gamescom in August.

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videogameschronicle.com
50°

Report: Injustice 3 in Development at NetherRealm Studios

Thanks to the slip-up of an artist working on the title, we now have more evidence that a new Injustice game is in the works.