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What Not To Say To a (Girl) Gamer

It seems (some) guys need a brief refresher on how to talk to gamers that are also coincidentally female. I don’t like to separate genders when talking about gamers because we are all a united group of people who enjoy the same thing, but some of the stuff I’ve heard said to myself and other (girl) gamers is downright rude. Enjoy this list of things frequently said to female gamers with some very sarcastic answers!

1) "So what do you play, The Sims?"

Yes because I am a girl and the only game I know how to play is The Sims and the only thing I can do on The Sims is make sandwiches.

2) "Do you need me to do (blank) for you? Or I can do that for you!"

Of course I need your help because I’m a girl therefore I can’t beat this level or finish this raid on my own, I need the help of a man who actually knows about games!

3) "You’re actually really good!"

I know it might surprise you because I'm a girl so of course I should only be good at girl things, which video games aren't.

4) "Oh you play (blank), but that’s a game for guys!"

Darn, I forgot to look at the gender icon on the box to tell me which games are appropriate for my gender. Sorry!

5) "Do you even know about video games?"

No I know nothing at all about video games I just like to sit and hold the controller and take pictures of myself holding the controller for the interwebs.

Now I’m not saying every guy has this mindset towards women, but hearing these things on a daily basis gets rather annoying. This goes both ways as I’m sure men get some annoying comments as well. The next time you meet a girl who plays video games, treat her like a regular person and not as an odd alien species sent from Mars.

On another note (most) male gamers are putting women gamers on a pedestal and completely sexualizing them rather than allowing them to play games like a regular person. Look up "girl gamer" on google images and my point proves itself. Some female gamers like the attention they get by men, but most often girls just want to play games without drawing so much attention and criticism to themselves. As the gaming industry opens itself up to more women interested in developing and working with games, it seems like the only way to get ahead or to gain popularity is to be pretty, or show their bodies.

(Most of) the male gaming community needs to grow up and realize that girls are going to play games, probably a lot of the same games as them, and they should be treated as equals, nothing more and nothing less.

annoyedgamer4123d ago (Edited 4123d ago )

The image at the bottom serves no purpose really because typing in girl anything will result on borderline explicit images. And your profile picture is of the same nature so...

Some of the other points are legitimate but some are not for example the point about men offering help. What in the world is wrong with being offered help? If you not need it say no thank you and move on there is no need to be offended by a friendly gesture.

Conzul4120d ago (Edited 4120d ago )

Spot on.

Personally, I refuse to police myself of any of these tropes, and the girls I play with have yet to call me out.(Maybe like 3-4 of my 30 Destiny friends) Maybe they're made of sturdier stuff.

Oh, and one more thing. I will NOT treat you like an equal, unless you ARE my equal. I don't care WHAT gender you are.
If you are inferior, I will tell you so if I think it will help, and outline how you can improve.
If you are equal, then I will treat you as equal and probably not say much of anything.
If you are superior, I will treat you as a superior, and learn from you whenever I get the chance.
And I will always be judging everyone I meet, so that I may place them into one of those categories.

thorstein4118d ago (Edited 4118d ago )

In my experience, most of the males that don't know how to talk politely to women are also incapable of polite discourse around males.

I love to game. I love to have friends that joke around. Many of the times the jokes are situational. If there is a woman playing with us she will fit in wonderfully (as they often do already.)

I think the problem is that you are looking at people who are either A) socially inept or B) complete ignoramii and saying, "These people don't know how to talk to women" when in reality, they don't know how to talk to anyone.

In my experience the same guys that do that also call black people by the N-word, other men as fags or gays, also berate women.

They are nothing new. Best ignored, muted, and blocked.

For even more fun, GRIEF Them. There are entire youtube channels devoted to this. It is quite fun. My favorite in COD is to run around firing my weapon into the air near the racists. Then they get killed. Record it then post it and it is good for laughs.

I take special time out to grief racists as they rage the most and usually rage quit.

annoyedgamer4118d ago

A lot of people use the N word now and they are not all white. Grouping is bad. Also name calling is nothing new and while rude is not really wrong as the only problem is we live in a society where everyone thinks they have a right to offend others but not to receive the same treatment.

Concertoine4123d ago (Edited 4123d ago )

I'm a female gamer and i've been playing games my whole life and been playing them online through xbox live since 2009. Honestly these scenarios don't pop up often, to me at least. Of the thousands of people i've run into on xbox, maybe like a couple dozen times i had a condescending experience like this. Which isn't really a lot, statistically. And most the time people said something like this, some of the more conscious and level-headed folk would shoot them down. Relative to how many girls are on xbox, i've had WAY more hostile encounters with girls actually, haha. Most of them are attention whores though.

I prefer to keep my gender ambiguous on xbox not because of this, but because i get too many kiss asses sucking up to me because im a girl who likes games. That happens way more often than any insulting or immaturity. Those people are nice and all, but i don't want to join your party every time i sign in and don't want to give you my private information lol...

Just looking at your snarky responses to questions, you look sensitive and presumptuous. Like someone saying "You're actually really good" should not arouse contempt. That's a compliment. I would take it as a compliment, at least.

annoyedgamer4123d ago (Edited 4123d ago )

You are right, a lot of male gamers tend to be a little socially deprived especially with female contact. They tend to gravitate towards girls wherever they see them especially on games. A lot of those girls like the attention, but some don't as you stated.

I can personally verify this as I once offered to train a girl from my school's account on an MMORPG. All I had to do was ask and kids were literally lining up begging to help. Oh, and let's not forget the loads of free stuff I was offered. It was hilarious and a little sad.

This blog is highly suspect, the user is newly joined and has not done anything on N4G besides post this copy-paste rant.

Concertoine4123d ago (Edited 4123d ago )

It is highly suspect, it seems like trollbait, not gonna lie.

Arguments for the whole "gaming online is a bad environment for women" usually seem to come from guys, which strikes me as odd. I dont want to sound too political, but the same thing happens with abortion arguments, a lot of the people on the podium are men who have no idea what its like to be pregnant. Like you can have whatever moral stance you want, but do you really know what its like to be a woman in that position?

Whenever some guy/girl says stuff like this, it makes me wonder what games theyre playing, and how they act online. I have the most hours online on various Battlefield games, L4D, Monster Hunter 3, Red Dead and GTA 5 and 99% of the time the only harassment i get is not intentionally malicious or rude. Just annoying, lol.

stuna14121d ago

Damn I never knew you were a girl gamer! Now I'll never be able to disagree with you again. /s

I have about a 50/50 mix of both girl and guy gamers on my friends list and, what's funny is a lot of the girls gamers are the one's spanking me in a round of Call of Duty or giving me strategy tips on my gameplay. I've never been the type to look a girl gamer as unqualified at playing any type of game, no disrespect I just view them as one of the guys.

Blacklash934117d ago

All it really goes to show is that there's tons of annoying idiots online and we've all got to tolerate them; whether they target us because of sex, age, username, performance, salt, or for no particular reason at all.

ISHU4123d ago Show
Halo2ODST24123d ago

"finish this raid on my own," er.. no you can't, you need 3 people to finish a raid or multiple depending on level

Skate-AK4123d ago

The only one I have actually heard myself is "You're really good." Knew this girl that wrecked COD and everyone swore that she was just talking while someone else was playing.

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70°

Microsoft Gaming Revenue Drops 7% Year-on-Year, Content and Services Down 5%, Xbox Hardware Down 33%

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Jin_Sakai1d 16h ago (Edited 1d 16h ago )

Not looking good. Hopefully Asha Sharma is able to turn Phil’s disaster around.

dveio1d 10h ago

To me it's still quite remarkable how they can cash-in 5.3bn in revenue in a single quarter, since their hardware is basically dead.

Jingsing1d 8h ago

The stock mark is what makes Microsoft remarkable, They have convinced every institutional and retail investor to just keep piling money into them. Like many big tech giants they are just a big growing pyramid scheme. As long as people keep dropping money into ETF's that cover the market Microsoft will always be liquid. At the same time it is completely stifling innovation and competition. People need to start being more discreet in how they invest their money as it's killing the system.

Tanktopmaster921d 9h ago

Once they re-evaluate exclusive all will be fine….

S2Killinit1d 9h ago

Riiiiight because people will just flock back to them for one or two games per year.

Jingsing1d 8h ago

15+ years of bad performance is what they call irreparable in business. It is time for them to sell off the assets and get out of entertainment.

Tanktopmaster921d 6h ago

These declines are on the back of extra revenue received from releasing games like Forza horizon 5 on PlayStation. So I’m being sarcastic here when I said they should go back to exclusives. Killing off a revenue stream from Ps5 sales will only make things worse

Tanktopmaster921d 6h ago

Let me be clear. This is sarcasm

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