Satire: The World Through the Eyes of a Playstation Fanboy

**XBOX FANBOY VERSION ALSO AVAILABLE** http://n4g.com/blogs/detail...
First and foremost I want to stress that this is 100% sarcasm for the sake of fun and as I said above there is a contrasting version available. If you have read my blogs before you will know that I always try and be as balanced as possible. I think it is very fun to look at some of the moronic perspectives and ignorant technological comments here on N4G. Hopefully these series of ramblings do justice to the brave men and women on the front lines of the console wars fighting with their very amazing amounts of time...er I mean lives, to prove to people who are the equivalent of a brick wall that their console of choice is somehow the greatest possible thing ever conceived. This satire will try and showcase how they look when they say some of the things that they do and make a few people laugh in the process. Share this!!!

Disclaimer: This was built on studying Fanboys over the course of 4 years in their natural habitat in the far off wastelands of the comment section here on N4G.

With that being said I proudly present to you...the ramblings of a Playstation Fanboy.

"Sony's word is law"

"The CELL is the greatest super computer"

"Multi-platforms aren't superior on Xbox, the Cell is doing hidden processing making it better and harder to process"

"Greatness awaits"

"You don't need to pay for online on Playstation.....oh wait"

"Xbox One pre-order cancelled"

"A traditional PC architecture is not efficient technology, the cell is better"

"The Cell is the future, however, forget the fact that Sony scrapped it for the PS4"

"GDDR5"

"If developers don't make it better on Playstation they are lazy"

"Playstation was the first gaming console"

"I make up my own facts"

"Uncharted 2 rivals a high end PC game"

"Xbox has no exclusives besides GAYLO"

"MAG was the greatest multiplayer experience ever"

"So many people still play MAG"

"The graphics are better on Playstation"

"Please...just ignore Xbox 360s superior GPU"

"Hey look guys we finally got a superior multi-platform...therefore Playstation was superior all along"

"LAIR really turned out great huh? Game of the generation material right there"

"Ps3 was the greatest console launch ever!"

"We don't want the Mass Effect series"

"We don't want Bioshock"

"Titanfall blows..just ignore the awards"

"Who the hell plays HALO anymore?"

"Halo sells more than most of the Playstation exclusives combined? Sales don't matter"

"A Playstation Game outsold an Xbox game? Sales DO matter!"

"Fable will come to Playstation"

"Gears of War will come to Playstation"

"EVERY game will come to Playstation"

"Sony will buy Microsoft because I said so"

"Playstation 3 will have all 1080p games"

"$599 Isn't too much for a system that is essentially the same as the Xbox 360"

"The Playstation network has superior online...when it doesn't get hacked"

"Ps3 can handle High end PC games, but xbox can't....even with the same hardware.."

"Socom 4 and Confrontation finally brought back the Socom series I can't wait for another one....oh wait"

"Because I said Naughty Dog your argument is moot"

"Uncharted...Uncharted.. .Uncharted....Killzone"

"The Ps3 still has 10 years left in it"

"The Ps3 is killing the Xbox 360 in sales"

"Haze was the greatest game ever did you know it killed halo?"

"GT5 is a simulator...Forza is just a arcade racer that critics like more"

"Ps3 is the most powerful system....but cant do background music and party chat due to technical limitations....ignore that"

"Only children play on Xbox"

"Your mom is worse than the Playstation"

"My arguments destroy yours because I typed more words"

"Let me continue to prove an opinionated point through 100 PM's and hate mail"

"If you join Playstation.....you join the Manson Family"

"Misterx needs to be killed...lets discuss that at the next Sony Cult meeting"

"Neogaf is more reliable....than the companies themselves"

"Titanfall not coming to PS4?...Its coming to PS4"

"My di**k...er I mean system is 50% more powerful than your system"

"50% more powerful is like...a lot...I mean like imagine if your di**k was 50% bigger...It would still be smaller than mine"

"I'm very mature"

"Ps4 is 50% more powerful because its 50% more powerful"

"I could explain why its more powerful..but I don't know how....I mean...its too complicated for you"

"Whatever I read on the internet is true"

"Sony is nothing like Microsoft....ignore paying for online now"

"Killzone 2 was the greatest shooter ever.... it feels better than Sex"

"Indies"

"Playstation has the cloud too...it just blows"

"Shut up you little kid bitch..I'll take your lunch money if you don't shut up"

"I'm a big man now"

"I've never played it....But I know anything on Xbox is bad"

"Why pay for xbox live when you can get hacked for free?"

"Sony is for gamers....but while we're at it lets change the company's lifelong policy of free online to a paid subscription"

"Sony is the master race"

"I'm not a fanboy"

"This site isn't biased....they just all agree with me!"

"Haze needs a sequel to finish off Halo"

"Sony forces a paid subscription for music? Microsoft are thieves"

"God of war's quick time events are perfect...Ryse can't have them QTE's suck"

"Ryse looks last gen"

"Quantum break? Nope it looks too good to talk about...It'll ruin the view of Playstation as the greatest console for graphics"

"50% more power is the difference between life and death"

"Ps4 kills Xbox one in BF4....just ignore the fact that the difference is hardly noticeable"

"I don't over exaggerate things"

"Microsoft milks its games....despite 6 God of war games and 2 HD remakes"

"Titanfall looks great can't wait for it on PS4"

"Titan fall isn't coming to PS4? Titan FAIL"

"My Fanboner is controlled by Sony"

"Fanboners do not make me biased...but I like having one"

"Why is his Fanboner bigger than mine?"

"I want his Fanboner"

"Why can't I have his Fanboner?"

"Sony never makes mistakes"

"Sony is like George Washington...they never tell a lie"

"Neogaf says...."

"Lets just ignore crackdown, Alan Wake, Fable, and Forza....Xbox only has Halo and gears"

"Resistance 3 sold so well...."

"Insomniac sucks now that they are on Xbox...even though they brought about a huge fanbase on Playstation with Ratchet and clank"

"Xbox one doesn't have a better game launch line up"

"More games doesn't mean better...even though that's been our argument for the past 6 years"

"THE TRUTH ABOUT THE XBOX ONE SHALL SET YOU FREE"

Believe it or not...some of these are from real users on N4G. I hope you guys had fun reading this and to all the xbox fans who thought this was just sooooo funny...watch out YOUR NEXT and trust me when I say you guys won't get off so easy... Thank you for reading and playing along guys! To all you fanboys, "insiders", and apparent psudo-technology know it all's (that's pretty much the same person) remember to....... IGNORE THE FACTS.