I'd like to point out, you described MUCH of Demon's Souls and Dark Souls in this write up. I read your comment that you haven't tried them, do yourself the favor and play them ASAP. They are brilliant games, and seem to be what you're looking for.

I would say the only think they lack in your list would be quests outside of the main game. There really is no mission flow period, even for the story progression. It is difficult to explain without playing, but you kind of just play the game, you don't accept missions, quests, side quests etc.. Other than that, these 2 games have everything you're looking for, especially the Gear, Lore, and Crafting sections, good lord you have no idea.

If you ever take on these games, be absolutely sure to Google/Youtube, EpicNameBro (ENB). He goes into great detail about the story/lore in these games, as the games themselves are not meant to tell you outright, they want you to figure it out on your own. I love this, and it adds to the uniqueness so much. ENB does the best job at explaining everything, and any real fan knows of him.

It ain’t great.