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QJ.NET's Dubious Video Game Awards

QJ.NET writes: While the gaming industry have busted out their top video game picks for 2007, proclaiming this or that game as being the best in this or that category. QJ.NET has come up with their own twisted take on the Game of the Year Awards, the Dubious Video Game Awards.

Note that this article is rife with spoilers, so if you want to discover today's biggest games for yourselves, you'd do well to stay away.


Most Unintentionally Sadistic Boss Fight of the Year:
Winner: Mario versus Dino Piranha in the Good Egg Galax (Super Mario Galaxy - Wii)



Pick-up line of the Year
Winner: "I'm looking for some alien toilet to park my bricks." (Duke Nukem Forever - PC)



Most Formidable Handlebar Mustache
Winner: Captain Price (Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare - 360, PC, PS3)
Call of Duty 4 - Image 1

Most Pointless Use of Wet-Clothes Graphics
Winner: Nathan Drake (Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - PS3)

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - Image 1

Most Unintentional Innuendo of That Sort
Winner: "We may need you to play Twing-Twang." (Heavenly Sword-PS3)



Most Effective Advertisement Campaign
Winner: Jade Raymond (Ubisoft)

Jade Raymond - Image 1

Most Cruel Display of Animal Torture
Winner: Riding a crippled horse (Assassin's Creed - 360, PS3)



Most Helpful AI
Winner: UNSC Military Personnel (Halo 3 - 360)

Halo 3 - Image 1

Most Pointless Boss Fight (or most obvious point in the game where the developers ran out of ideas)
Winner: Master Chief w/ Spartan Laser versus Guilty Spark (Halo 3 - 360)

Cyrus3656687d ago

I like how they have a "Best Dragon sim" just specifically to mention Lair, lol!

120°

Halo 2 & 3 Campaign Remakes Allegedly In Development, Halo 7 Will Feature Multiplayer

Remakes of the campaigns featured in Xbox Game Studios' Halo 2 and Halo 3 are currently in development, according to a new rumor.

Read Full Story >>
twistedvoxel.com
medman194d ago (Edited 194d ago )

That's Microsoft's gaming division for you...kill off developers making new ip while trying to capitalize off some long lost glory that has no hope of ever being what it once was thanks to recent decision making favoring unrealistic profit goals and greed. What a joke.

Reaper22_194d ago

So much bitterness. Why be upset over something like this. Just don't buy it and stick with what you prefer.

Tacoboto194d ago

Complaining about Microsoft is the only thing people comment here for anymore.

This website is practically dead without it

Mmmkay193d ago

I remember when you guys constantly complained about Sony remaking and remastering games. Guess it is cool now. As usual.

thesoftware730193d ago

Give it rest medman..., take a deep breath and try to not sound so invested in something no one is forcing you to read, buy, or play.

"Console war"is over, Sony won, be happy.

medman189d ago (Edited 189d ago )

@thesoftware730
I'm invested in people losing their jobs and their livelihoods while Microsoft execs tout record profits for their gaming division. Not sure why you wouldn't be invested. Could be you one day. Good luck.

Travesty194d ago

So what’s their solution to having multiplayer? Wait until Halo 7?
That was one of the most memorable parts of Halo..

monkey602194d ago

I'm not sure spending the heavy investment in time to recreate the multiplayer here is the answer either though.
Remaking the campaigns is a great idea to bring the new players up to speed. But if the multiplayer is included in each it'll just fracture the player base of each release.
I think it might be better to turn these campaigns out quicker and have 1 multiplayer game to keep everyone in one place

Travesty194d ago

Maybe having an Halo Online and just release the Combat Evolve maps. And when Halo 2 releases have those maps release. I don’t know but I would like to play a newer version of Halo multiplayer. I know times have changed, and Fortnite is all younger kids really play. But back then it was Halo and you connecting 6 Xbox’s together lol.

jjb1981194d ago

I agree. I think that'll segment the playerbase and once 7 comes out, players might realize it sucks and go back to the older games. Especially if 7 is live-servixe, they'll be shooting themselves in the foot on the one good leg they have to stand on.

crazyCoconuts193d ago

Kinda surprised they didn't just port MCC.
Maybe more $ to by made with separate remasters

Inverno194d ago

Wouldn't have that problem if it were MCC being released. Gotta wait for 7 to be disappointed with MP all over again cause if they half baked Infinite what makes people think they won't half bake the next game? MP works in past HALO games not cause of nostalgia but because it's MP that isn't concerned with the endless service approach.

JEECE193d ago

There is so much cognitive dissonance over Infinite. People say they didn't like it because it was a live service. Yet if you look at what the criticisms of it were at the time it came out and when the playerbase started falling off, the primary issue people had was a lack of updates. In other words, it wasn't enough of a live service.

Which is really an encapsulation of the problem with multiplayer today. So many people think that they want to go back to the "good old days" of mid-2000s multiplayer (The first few Halos, Socom, the first few Battlefields, CS 1.6, etc), but in reality if a multiplayer game like that came out today, people would whine about the lack of content within a month of launch and go back to a live service with a grindy progression system.

isarai194d ago

Why not just port the MCC? 🤔 That was the easiest layup ever and you completely missed it

franwex193d ago

30% profit margins! People will pay $70+ for remakes!

Software_Lover193d ago

I thought the same thing, then I realized that they wouldn't include the remakes in that edition. We may get a different version of Halo MCC in the future with all of the remakes included. I just want them to include Halo 5 at some point for PC.

TheColbertinator194d ago

Can they remake Reach too with the multiplayer?

Knightofelemia193d ago

I wonder if Microsoft will port Reach over to Playstation I quite enjoyed that game. I played Halo 3 and it was not bad I have Halo 2 on the OG Xbox I just need some cables to hook up to my tv to play it.

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40°

Super Mario Galaxy and Super Mario Galaxy 2 Blast off on Nintendo Switch Today

Are you ready for another trip through the cosmos on Starship Mario?

Read Full Story >>
terminalgamer.com
140°

Only nine franchises make up the top 20 all-time best-selling PlayStation chart in the US

In honour of PlayStation's 30th birthday yesterday in the US, data company Circana has dug out figures showing the top 20 best-selling PlayStation video games ever (date-range Jan 1995 to July 2025). Don't get too excited.

Read Full Story >>
eurogamer.net
JEECE244d ago

This is a great reminder of how game sales have become more concentrated in a smaller number of games/series over time. In the PS1/PS2 era a game was a success if it sold a million or a few million copies. The GTA games (3/Vice City/San Andreas) were pretty big outliers in selling as much as they did during the PS2 era. So in the minds of a lot of gamers something like FF VII feels like it was as big of a PS1 game as God of War 2018 was for PS4, but in reality far fewer people bought it (though it has obviously reached additional people through remasters, etc.).

StoneTitan244d ago

this was alwalys the case and will always be the case. with everything

244d ago
Zerobalance244d ago (Edited 244d ago )

What this says to me is, not many people are buying a PS to play PS exclusives. Like so many false narratives, like Xbox gamers don't buy games! It seems Playstation as a default system is a vanilla system to play call of duty, Minecraft, GTA games and a sports games.

badz149244d ago (Edited 244d ago )

if you look back into the PS history, it has always been the 3rd parties who sells the most games. it was just that the PS1 and PS2 were so dominant that many of those 3rd party games were exclusives. so, back during the PS1 and PS2 days, the strategy was "to sell as many consoles as possible in order to sell more 1st party exclusives" to ride on that wave. The strategy to push many 1st party exclusives to sell consoles only started with the PS3 when many of those prior 3rd party exclusives went multiplat but more accurately, it started with the PSP.

Sony saw with the PSP, which was being trounced in sales by the DS, that 3rd party exclusives are hard to come by if you're not dominating the market. So they started building more 1st party games and when the PS3 were facing difficulties in sales, they knew they had to rely on their own to differentiate the PS3 from the 360. So the strategy back then changed to "release more 1st party exclusives in order to sell more consoles".

the only manufacturer that is still consistently selling their hardware to play 1st party exclusives, is Nintendo, and that was because they gave up the armrace for power thus they can't rely on 3rd parties anymore as all multiplats play better on competing consoles. AND that's also why they are the most ominous in going after emulators and also patent trolling!

so, you're not wrong there, but not an "aha!" moment or anything. it has been this way since the last, at least, 15 years for Playstation.

244d ago
Deathdeliverer244d ago

@zerobalance

So... what this tells you is that Call of duty, being the absolute check writer that it is, has been outsold by Last of us, God of war, 2 Spider man games..... Saying Playstation exclusives doesn't sell is like saying call of duty doesn't sell because they have outsold some of iterations. Does that make sense to you?

244d ago
244d ago
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