User Review : Portal 2

The best Valve have ever made – but not the best ever.

It’s a simple concept is Portal. You’re a test subject; you’re completing tests at the bequest of an all seeing AI. The tests entail getting out of various rooms. You’re even holding a gun. What’s this though? It doesn’t fire bullets? Then what does it fire? What’s a Portal?

Valve took a risk when they released the original Portal in 2007. It was a far cry from other shooters, the first time Valve had tried something radically different; but Portal became an instant cult classic. It was, of course, one of the simplest games in existence. You can fire two Portals at any one time, which could transport you around a series of test chambers. It was a sanitised, focused game – get from A to B – but it could be devilishly difficult, and that’s where Portal won part of its acclaim. It was a tough game, yes, but it had something most don’t – it had a heart; it had GLaDOS. If you know anything about gaming, you already know who I’m talking about. The maniacal tour guide of Aperture Science, obsessed with two things – Science and Sarcasm. GLaDOS permeated the shell of gaming culture like no one before her. Yes, I know she’s an AI, but she’s a lady too dammit – and this lady is back. Technically, you killed GLaDOS in Portal (Spoiler alert, but I maintain if you haven’t already played the original, you’re not going to), but the old gal’s not going to let something as small as core failure and a massive explosion keep her down – I’ll leave it there story wise.

You’re still Chell, the jumpsuit wearing female test subject from the first game. You’re awoken in a grim, brown motel room – you know the sort, where seedy liaisons between politicians and working girls take place in the movies. It’s here that Portal 2 sets out its stall – it wants you to laugh, and through a combination of tight scripting and amazing voice acting – you definitely will. You’re offered no explanation as to what’s going on, but invited to go back to sleep – which triggers the start of the game.

I won’t ruin it, but I’ll say this – Aperture Science isn’t what it used to be. Gone are the pristine bathroom tiles and neat blue lighting – you’re faced with abject destruction here. A mess of epic proportion – and the opening sequence is testament to that. At this point, you’re introduced to a curious character – a floating metal eyeball named Wheatley. Voiced by the impeccable Stephen Merchant, Wheatley quickly becomes your sidekick as you start your escape (again) from Aperture. Wheatley is very much your dumbed down version of Guilty Spark from the Halo franchise, and he is, for all intents and purposes, perfect.

I’ll mention the visuals here, because they’re truly stunning. I played through it on a brand new PC, with every setting maxed, and it looks gorgeous. Aperture’s new look is as striking as it is unexpected. I’ll be honest – before I started, I wondered how Valve were going to stretch the test chamber formula over a full game – and immediately, they slapped the worry out of my head, and introduced me to some of the best environments I’ve ever seen in a game.

So, it’s funny, visually remarkable, and shocking – but how does it play? The answer is, naturally, fantastically. Now, I’ll admit at this point, I only played the original Portal on an Xbox, so I don’t know how Portal 2’s controls match up to the original’s. I’ll say this though – it’s crisp. Every movement with the mouse is replicated well, with a slight “weight”- a drag that makes you feel as if you’re moving a real head (as opposed to some FPS games where you’re pointing and clicking). As with the first game, moving through a portal can be mind-bending, as you can see the other side before you enter it – sometimes you’ll lose your bearings as you pop through a portal, particularly if you’re travelling at speed, but this is only a minor gripe with what is an immaculately delivered concept. Valve have also kept the game fresh by adding new gameplay mechanics – including the curious gels, which allow Chell to defy gravity in ever more exciting ways.

The new mechanics are dropped in almost effortlessly – three different gels, making Chell jump higher, run faster or attach portals to any surface respectively and a “man cannon” like slingshot called the Aerial Faith Plate have all been seen elsewhere – but when combined with portals, they become something else entirely. These new items add a degree of difficulty to proceedings, but when you get them – they’re amazing. A highlight later on in the game was dropping gel from a height onto a gang of ten angry turrets.

As I alluded to earlier, I was worried that we’d be playing a lot of filler within Portal 2. I can happily confirm though that I couldn’t have been more wrong. Each time you think you’re getting somewhere in the story, a curveball hits you, until the biggest one of all drags you into the bowels of a long forgotten Aperture Science. That’s right folks – we get Aperture backstory, in a surreal Bioshock act, where we’re reminded that we’re still in Half-Life 2’s universe. This section was amongst my favourite in the game – and it offers even more of an insight into what GLaDOS actually is – something which is clearly a massive nod to the fans.

If you’re sceptical about Portal 2 being “Just a load of test chambers”, don’t be. Fairly early on, you’re dragged out of the sterility and relative safety of the chambers and thrown into the guts of Aperture. Without ruining the story, I’m hearing play-throughs are taking people anywhere between eight and twelve hours – so if you’re on the fence, let me assure you that Portal 2 is well worth the money.

In summary, Portal 2 is almost perfect. It has all the charm of the first, but has something else. The “Something else” is delivered by an engaging story, smart scripting, and stellar voice acting. Where in Portal, you had one amazing voice actor, in Portal 2, you have three of them. Yes, Merchant’s shtick might grate on you if you’re not a fan of his work and yes, there’s a lot of loading screens (which aren’t that long, and have an actual working loading bar!), but they’re minor niggles with what is an impressive package.

Portal 2 is, for my money, the best game Valve have ever made. It’s smarter than Half Life 2, it’s funnier than Team Fortress 2, and it’s more charming than the original Portal. The visuals, the gameplay, the sound, everything comes together to create a stunning crescendo of a final act, a final act that contains no real combat – but still manages to be as intense and exciting than any big AAA FPS – if not more so. When you play Portal 2, you’ll laugh, you’ll feel exhilarated, and more importantly, you’ll fall in love with the characters, and the universe in which the game is set… if you weren’t already.